It ain’t no joke, we’ve been slackin’ here at Run Royal. This got me thinking tonight that maybe the blog is over.. Hell no! I don’t care what anyone else says, the boppin’ days ain’t over, lotsa guys still swinging… So what the fuck have we been upto?
Well, I can’t speak for everyone here but me, I’ve been busy the first quarter of ’17 re living my yout. I didn’t throw out my clothes and hit H&M for a new wardrobe or get a trendy ass haircut, I simply changed my way of thinking. The Peter Pan fantasy led me to living vicariously through myself, which sounds like alotta fun but in reality is a greater pain than squeezing a matchbox car out your sphincter. A week ago I prayed that one of my close friends would break up with his missus so I had an excuse to take a weeks long service leave and book two tickets to Thailand. I hear many people using a roller coaster ride as a metaphor for their current lifestyle. Mines been more like one of them epic wing suit jumps where the idiot pretending to fly narrowly misses trees, boulders and bridges; inevitably you can only go one way and that is down.
So after a disappointing third and final meeting with a Vice TV executive about my reality show idea called ‘Wave To The Grave’ – kinda like Mad Max meets the Hangover; life stooped to an all time low. Before you ask; yes, I tried the Costanza line “it’s a show about nothing” – they didn’t get it.. So what is ‘Wave To The Grave’? Well a wave is like water, in fact a wave is water growing and moving at a rapid rate; It’s all about adapting to your current environment and situation in any given moment. And a grave, well that’s where we all end up my friend.
I ain’t gonna play it down, this nuwave comes with great responsibility and a shit load of illegible iPhone notes, which is mostly made up of drunken mind diarrhoea and vague descriptions of vehicles I thought were following me at some point in time. During these last few months I got my heart broken once, had two blood tests (all good), locked myself out of my house three times and got rinsed at the casino four or five times but hey, who’s counting. I nearly od’d on md, had benders that led into bigger benders and many a night on the tiles. I found some dope new records in some very strange places, randomly picked up a milf during a fire evacuation and walked 2km’s with a B grade celebrity comedian; roasting him the whole way. I caught a snake in my living room which somehow escaped twice before I finally released it at a neighbouring suburb, had more Mondays off work then the 4 years prior combined all while making some great new friends and some vicious new enemies. Each of those adventures has an accompanying story worthy of biblical publication. But what does it all mean?
I guess you can say, we’re back! The plan is to re open the rehearsal room and get the band back together. Shit, we might even go all out and recruit some new troops. Aye Sarina Russo; paging all Saxamaphonists.
For now, I leave you with a song from the ‘Wave To The Grave’ soundtrack – the waviest compilation since brazzers teamed up with dat piff. This goes down best loud at 6am on a weekday, projected onto your living room wall with a fresh mojito in hand and a pair of novelty glasses on deck.